Should have named him Jack

So last week my flat iron died. After 6 years my sweet, cheap Vidal Sassoon flat iron lost it's battle with my frizz. So I sent Chase off to the store with instructions to purchase a new one, which he did like the brave boy that he is. He brought me home a NEW Vidal Sassoon flat iron (that, consequently, is HOT PINK, causing the hubster to get some questioning looks from lady passers-by).

Anywho, so said flat iron is packed as one would expect, in a long, skinny cardboard box with the words VIDAL SASSOON (start paying attention...now) down each side in bright, reflective letters.

Now, before going forward I should tell you about the engineering phase that Cameron is in right now. He loves to find random boxes and bits of packaging and re-purpose it into things like Wolverine claws or Iron Man boots. It's ingenious, really.

So, when I left the box on the side table last night I swear I wasn't thinking that anything noteworthy would happen to it.

I SWEAR.

Fast forward to today: the Sabbath. I arrive home from church late to find Cameron has been keeping himself busy in his usual manner. He found the box first thing this morning and realized it fit perfectly over his arm, like a little sleeve. Nice, right?

Except, perhaps, for the fact that he re-fashioned it to look like...

Well...

Like this...

You're going to want to click on those.

It'll be worth it.

 

So CLEARLY, while Cameron is aware of many POTTY WORDS that I'm not a fan of, there are still some words lacking in his vocabulary. And I'm okay with that.

Now, let's just talk about the PROBABILITY of him cutting this box into TWO identical armbands of profanity...it boggles the mind, doesn't it? It's got to be up there with lightning striking the same place twice.

P.S. When Chase took these pictures Cameron's ONLY concern was that the pink part of the box would be showing. Because, obviously, that would compromise his masculinity. Or make him look silly. I can't WAIT for him to read this when he's 20.

Afternoon snack

After school today we decided to make some cookies. Since my stomach is having a mostly "on" day this isn't as dangerous as it would have been two weeks ago. And the kids need to know I'm not allergic to the kitchen or the oven.

Even if I am still allergic to the dishes.

And laundry.

Anyway, we had to use leftover Xmas M&Ms (which wouldn't even still exist if not for my troublesome tummy). The kids originally set out to make various shapes but in the end settled for "one giant cookie."

80's 80's Please Go Away

...And don't come again any other day.

Am I the only one who is sick to death of being forced to relive elementary/middle school? Or, maybe high school depending on the reader? Seriously, fluorescent colors weren't flattering the first time around. Neither were skinny jeans, colored plastic sunglasses or high tops with purple laces. Very few people look hot in a pair of leggings and trapeze top. And while I wish I could pull off the one shoulder ripped-neck sweatshirt (because Flash Dance is STILL a good movie), I can't. And guess what? You can't either.

Last week I went to the mall BY MYSELF FOR MY BIRTHDAY and was hurt and disappointed to find FLORALS making a comeback. Really? Is that necessary?

I just want everyone to start dressing like real people again.

 These were described as "funky fresh."

Kilgores, remember the awesome Lion print mom and dad had above the fireplace in Cali?

No words.

Look! A bodysuit! CLASS-TASTIC!

These were listed with the bodysuit under "You might also be interested in..." You betcha I'm interested!

FLORRRRRRRRRALLLLLLS!

Kelly Bundy anyone?

Yes. That IS an electric blue high waisted mini you're looking at.

Seriously, I could go on..............

note: flats can stay FORRRR-EVVVV-ERRRR.

Sick of my stomach

Since there are probably five of you left that Chase hasn't told, you should know that Baby Number FOUR is causing major stomach distress in my life right now.

I can't wait until that part is over.

I can wait until the end of July. That is when the baby will stop causing internal distress and start causing external distress. Well, if it is anything like it's siblings - which I expect it to be.

But we're thrilled beyond all belief. I'll take the possible reflux/colic/sleeplessness. So far it's worked out for us:)

Yesterday we sat down and made Cameron's "Star Student" poster, and it was a nice little trip down memory lane. Seeing all of his baby pictures reminded me of how nice it is to have a warm little body curled up against you nearly 24 hours a day. And they do grow up to be such funny little ducks...

Plus, Miles is really hoping for a Blue Baby Hedgehog in lieu of an actual baby.

So far, this is what it looks like (as of a few weeks ago, anyway). So, you know, there's a possibility.

It's like she looked inside my soul...

Stumbled on this. Thought you'd enjoy it.

Mommy Boot Camp

So, let's talk about this chick.

 

Sophia. Right.

Okay so here's my issue with The Sophster as of this very minute. Girlfriend has attitude. I know, I know. I've told you this before. But this time I mean it. I realllllllly mean it.

As a general rule Sophie has decided she cannot, indeed, WILL not agree with anything that is said. Conversations like the following take place on a fairly frequent basis. Observe.

Best Mother Ever (me): Sophie, I think you need a diaper change!

Tyrant Child (soph): No I not!

BME: Oh yes you do! Let's go change that diaper!

TC: NO I NOT! NO! NO! NO!

BME: Okay Sophie. I think you smell like roses and you can wear that diaper FOREVER.

TC: No I not. I stinky. Uckee diapee.

Then there's the classic, "I DO IT!"

BME: (seeing Sophie struggling to put on shoes, throwing herself on the floor and moaning) Sophie, can mommy help you with that?

TC: NO! I DO IT!

So, you see where I'm going with this. Girlfriend has attitude. I'll admit that at first it was cute to see her so determined and independent. Now? Not so much. And beginning with our failed potty-training attempt last month I realized something: She needs to be broken. I'm talking wild-stallion-learning-to-wear-a-saddle, broken. Richard Gere in Officer and a Gentleman, broken. She's going to learn who is boss around here, and it's not Tony Danza.

Granted, I have no plans to make her do push-ups in the mud while hosing her down. Not yet, anyway. But she's been learning the hard way for the past few weeks. Time-outs in the crib have been plentiful. Getting kicked out of the kitchen without finishing her meal after spitting has happened, thankfully, less often. Yesterday she wouldn't leave the park, so I left. I waved bye-bye and walked with the boys (who are broken, and who walked like the nice little cadets they are) to the car. She literally stood at the very edge of the playground - not a toe over the line - and screamed at me until she realized I WAS SERIOUSLY GETTING INTO THE CAR. At which point she booked it and ran toward me (note: she was running through a grassy field, not a parking lot...and I met her halfway).

But the good news is that I think we're making progress. Little by little she's figuring out what her brothers before her had to learn. Mommy is the boss. Daddy is the assistant boss (or, assistant TO the boss, I should say). But Mommy runs this place. If she plays her cards right she will get to have a say in LOTS of things. She'll get to make lots of choices and have a great little life.

And if she doesn't?

Well, let's just say I can think of a perfect spot in the backyard for some muddy push-ups.

AWCC

Here is the recipe for what has, apparently been dubbed, "AWCC." Or, Anna's White Chicken Chili. I should be clear that I didn't invent this recipe. It was given to me. I just doctor it up my own special way and serve it to everyone who comes within a five-foot radius of me. That's how it became "Anna's". But I'll take fame anyway it comes, people.

2 chicken breasts- boiled & cubed

2 cans gr. chilis (here I use a diced, seeded jalapeno sauteed with the onion and garlic)

1 med. onion, diced small (sauteed)

3 cloves garlic minced and sauted

1 can chicken broth

3 cans Northern Beans, drained and rinsed

2 TBSP butter (for sauteeing but I obviously use way, WAY more)

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp oregano

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper if needed (I don't usually use the CP - If it needs spice I add in some jalapeno seeds)

1/2 tsp black pepper

The best way to do this is dump it all in a crockpot and simmer ALL DAY. Then, 1/2 hour before serving:

Fold in 1 c. sour cream

1/2 c whipping cream

ENJOY!

See Deb's blog for skinny alterations. I'm going to try them, even if they're slightly blasphemous.