This is the email that I just sent to Chase.
Subject: Would it surprise you to hear...
...that while I was baking Sophia decided to steal the cap to the bottle of vegetable oil?
...that after I was done cleaning and couldn't find the cap, I left the uncapped bottle of vegetable oil on the counter in hopes that the cap would show up. Because putting it in the pantry, of course, would have been dangerous. Someone would have definitely found it and spilled it there.
...that after I was done cleaning, I went to check my email and ended up checking Facebook (only for a minute. I'm definitely getting better)?
...that while I was checking email and facebook our youngest daughter climbed up on the step that was next to the kitchen counter (Sophia was helping me bake)?
...that she discovered the oil and attempted to drink it, resulting in an oily spill all down the front of her shirt and all over the floor and counter?
...that the shirt was so completely soaked in oil I had to cut it off her body?
...that I remained calm through the entire situation?
...that our baby now smells like the pantry, but has unbelievably soft and smooth skin?