Rawlins Family

Rawlins Family

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Dear Letter-Writing-Blog-Style. I hate you. The End.

As a member of the blogging community (a.k.a. the human race) I often see trends in blogs. I read a lot of blogs and most of them are not necessarily connected to one another aside from the fact that their html address ends in "blogspot.com". Trends in blogs are just like trends in fashion - it's impossible to stop some of them once they get started. And as the Trendy McTrendster that you all know I am I have taken part in my fair share of them. Some are okay, some are just "meh", and some are downright annoying. And right now I'm annoyed. Like, "Surprise! Screech from Saved By The Bell is moving in!" annoyed. The object of my annoyance? A little thing I like to call the Letter Writing Blog.

HOLY SHAMWOW THIS THING IS SO OVERDONE IT'S LIKE A TURKEY YOU PUT IN ON THANKSGIVING DAY ONLY TO FIND OUT ON EASTER MORNING THAT IT'S STILL OCCUPYING YOUR OVEN.

If you aren't familiar with the Letter Writing Blog it usually goes a little something like this:

Dear (insert inane object of love/hate...like asparagus or Dawson's Creek),

We used to have such great times together but now I think it's time that I move on/get over you. You were always there for me when I needed you (blah, blah, blah insert additional ridiculous nonsense that you think sounds funny because - ha ha - you are SO clever to have thought of this blog style to represent your feelings about aforementioned object. Feel free to wax poetic about how that subscription to Seventeen Magazine was really so beneficial at the time but now that you've grown up you really think Jane is much more age-appropriate.)

So (stupid object), I bid you ado (never mind that it's spelled adieu. No one reads your blog - they're just there for the pictures). I hope that you can find fulfillment/happiness/joy in your journey/life/sojourn.

Sincerely,
Mindless Automaton Blogger

And here is where I yell "ARGH!" and then smack my computer. Is it just me? Am I really the only one who feels like these blogs are the digital equivalent of polyester leisure suits? I'll admit, when it first started it was kinda cute. I may have even done one waaaaaaaay back in '06 (you'd have to check because I'm too lazy to bother - so it either did or didn't happen, I'm not sure). Some people actually do a good job of it. I saw Kristin Armstrong do it on her runnersworld.com blog. I saw a Fugly (fellow ugly mom) do it somewhat recently. But COME ON, PEOPLE! At this point EVERYONE thinks they're being original...just as original as Suzy down the street who did it last week.

So, Dear Letter Writing Blog Style,

Your time in the blog spotlight was like, so rad, you know? It, like, totally rocked and was da bomb, for sure! I mean, everyone was totally into you and you made us all feel so clever. And, like, there are definitely some people who, like, NEEDED that bloggy-boost you gave them. But I think the time has come for us to go our separate ways and just be friends. Mmmmkay?

Don't call me. I'll call you.

6 comments:

Deb said...

Anna, you are so right. Don't they know that cool blogging trends are as follows:

Bullets
Subheads
Mismatched Numbers (Uno, two, 7, iii, IV, e)
Outline

They're super cleaver and they never go out of style. Duh, people.

But, I need to call you on the carpet, my friend. I'm "Surprise! Screech from Saved By The Bell is moving in!" annoyed that you totally dissed polyester leisure suits. I don't know where you live (yes, I do), but there is nothing wrong with polyester leisure suits, particularly when they have high-fashion bright pink piping down the side that matches your pink top. And I dare you to harness more fun than shopping for leather furniture while wearing aforementioned outfit. High fashion AND fun for $20 bucks at Walmart -- I dare you to beat that.

Screech, indeed.

Oh, and good luck with that turkey.

Deb said...

And they're super clever, also too.

(I bet you think cleaver was a typo, but really I meant to say that. Yeah. Because I totally think our blogging trends are like "a ridge of rock that separates a unified flow of glacial ice from its uphill side into two glaciers flanking, and flowing parallel to, the ridge." Get it? Glacial ice is, like, the coolest thing in the world, and our blogging trends are, like, frozen in the middle of all that coolness. So our trends are super-frozen cool. A cleaver is also a burr-bearing plant, but I didn't mean it that way.)

Chi-townRawlins said...

Deb, I'm thinking polyester LEISURE suits (circa 1976 - though I hear-tell on Fug Fashion that they're making some sort of evil comeback). Polyester-blend JOGGING SUITS are, obviously, more than acceptable attire. They are probably three (or six?) steps up from what I normally wear.

Alyssa said...

Dear Anna,

You do realize that there will now likely be a rash of letter style blogs being written in an attempt to annoy you, right??

Deb said...

There is absoletly no jogging related to my polyester. Totally leisure, all the way. And if I Photoshopped myself wearing my leisure suit(s) whilst sporting a side pony into a 1976 photo ... well, let's just say it would be shocking.

Cris, Jon, Austin and Ethan said...

I prophesy that Alyssa has a point, sorry Anna...here they come!