As I was scrubbing, scraping and painting over the last couple of weeks in preparation for visitors I kept thinking that normal people don't have to do this. And by "this" I'm referring to the intense amount of work required to make up for the state into which my house has fallen.
My house has been bebusyseasoned. It's like being bedazzled but with the opposite effect. Whereas bedazzling usually creates a more, uh, beautiful result, bebusyseasoning almost always ends with things being splattered on the walls, home projects going half-finished, and cobwebs collecting in corners for months at a time.
My day-to-day routine usually involves cleaning and tidying. Deep cleaning is saved for the weekend when I can pass the kids off to Chase and get some stuff done without it being immediately undone before I'm even finished. During busy season, however, this routine is replaced with the, "Oh my goodness. Let's just shove this in a drawer and try to survive because you're crazy, I'm crazy and none of us has seen your father in 7,463 days" routine. It's my own personal version of March Madness.
And what the heck is with the mess anyway? I mean, they are three small children and I am one full (some may even say over) grown adult! What is the deal? How do they create such monstrosities?! And why are my powers so useless against them? Perhaps it is some strange theory of overcompensation. Like how short men always drive enormous trucks. Maybe my kids are trying to make up for their size by showcasing the largesse of their capacity for disaster. Who knows. I'm stumped. And tired. I'm Stired. And to prove just how stired I am I'm going to hit "publish" and walk away because I don't even care anymore that this is the most ridiculous and time-wasting blog ever created in the history of the world and that I am ending it with one of the longest run-on sentences in the history of blogging and for the fun of it I might even throw in a misused homonym or word just four kicks and giggles and because eye no it will piss of Chrysta two know end.