Rawlins Family

Rawlins Family

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mommy Boot Camp

So, let's talk about this chick.

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Sophia. Right.

Okay so here's my issue with The Sophster as of this very minute. Girlfriend has attitude. I know, I know. I've told you this before. But this time I mean it. I realllllllly mean it.

As a general rule Sophie has decided she cannot, indeed, WILL not agree with anything that is said. Conversations like the following take place on a fairly frequent basis. Observe.

Best Mother Ever (me): Sophie, I think you need a diaper change!

Tyrant Child (soph): No I not!

BME: Oh yes you do! Let's go change that diaper!

TC: NO I NOT! NO! NO! NO!

BME: Okay Sophie. I think you smell like roses and you can wear that diaper FOREVER.

TC: No I not. I stinky. Uckee diapee.

Then there's the classic, "I DO IT!"

BME: (seeing Sophie struggling to put on shoes, throwing herself on the floor and moaning) Sophie, can mommy help you with that?

TC: NO! I DO IT!

So, you see where I'm going with this. Girlfriend has attitude. I'll admit that at first it was cute to see her so determined and independent. Now? Not so much. And beginning with our failed potty-training attempt last month I realized something: She needs to be broken. I'm talking wild-stallion-learning-to-wear-a-saddle, broken. Richard Gere in Officer and a Gentleman, broken. She's going to learn who is boss around here, and it's not Tony Danza.

Granted, I have no plans to make her do push-ups in the mud while hosing her down. Not yet, anyway. But she's been learning the hard way for the past few weeks. Time-outs in the crib have been plentiful. Getting kicked out of the kitchen without finishing her meal after spitting has happened, thankfully, less often. Yesterday she wouldn't leave the park, so I left. I waved bye-bye and walked with the boys (who are broken, and who walked like the nice little cadets they are) to the car. She literally stood at the very edge of the playground - not a toe over the line - and screamed at me until she realized I WAS SERIOUSLY GETTING INTO THE CAR. At which point she booked it and ran toward me (note: she was running through a grassy field, not a parking lot...and I met her halfway).

But the good news is that I think we're making progress. Little by little she's figuring out what her brothers before her had to learn. Mommy is the boss. Daddy is the assistant boss (or, assistant TO the boss, I should say). But Mommy runs this place. If she plays her cards right she will get to have a say in LOTS of things. She'll get to make lots of choices and have a great little life.

And if she doesn't?

Well, let's just say I can think of a perfect spot in the backyard for some muddy push-ups.

15 comments:

Deb @ Confessions of an Ugly Mom said...

HAHAHA!

I an hearing you loud and clear. Sounds like Sophster = Chaser. And he's got veins that bulge out of his neck and head. We call them the Angry Veins. Does Sophie have those, when she's NO-NO-NOing? Look for them.

Good luck with that. I fear I am the one who as been been broken in these parts.

Deb @ Confessions of an Ugly Mom said...

P.S. That typo, it's just for you. :-)

Sara said...

Wait, Tony Danza ISN'T the boss?

Alyssa said...

despite your misfortune, this was a hilarious post!! Also, does Sophie have a black eye in that one picture? And if so, is that part of her boot camp??

Jeni said...

Sophia, momma means busness. Lets just say I, Aunte Jen, dont want to ever go to your mommies boot camp! shape up girl!

Chi-townRawlins said...

Deb - that's an affirmative on the veins. Right down the middle of the forehead. VERY ladylike.
Sara, it just depends on where you stand.
Lyll, YEP it's a shiner. But that's courtesy of wrestling with Miles on Christmas Eve. It almost 10 days to look that good!
Jen, you KNOW what I'm talking about:)

Nicole said...

Can I send Branik? Actually, homeboy has (knock on wood) had quite an attitude change since Christmas, believe it or not. Every once in awhile, he gets all 3 again on me, but I actually kind of enjoy him now. At least like 85% of the time, which is a marked difference from pre-Christmas when I liked him maybe 17% of the time.

We also too have had dinner-less children leave the room, and children belted to their chairs, and Wii deprivation. What is wrong with me that I am smiling as I write this like I enjoy all this punishment?

Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

abby and paxton said...

OH my I have NOT seen you guys in forever! It's been too long for sure! Sophia is going to be SO FUN when she's a teenager! Can't wait for that- can you?
It's always a joy ride reading your posts-- really - it is a RIDE! I love it.

Chi-townRawlins said...

So i'm interested in the fact that no one pointed out my blatant Dwight Schrute reference...

Deb @ Confessions of an Ugly Mom said...

I have not watched it ALL SEASON. What is happening to me????!!! I think it's on tonight, in 15 minutes. I'm on it.

Lynne said...

Anna, I'm laughing!

JoDell said...

Oh my! We have one of those, too. :) Aren't they precious?

And, just so you know, I love your blog. You always make me laugh! I'm awful about commenting, though. Ooops!

critts said...

Um...can you teach Abby who's boss too? Either that or she and Sophie can do push-ups together.

Sara K. said...

Hmmm, Soph should not be allowed at any time to be alone with one Miss Gaby Pants. She'd be one difiant 2 year old with animal print faux fur accessories and knee high black boots. Good luck with boot camp, I hope your will is stronger than hers. Jerry has LOTS of other ideas for you if the push ups in the mud don't work.

Cris, Jon, Austin and Ethan said...

Hmmm, Maybe I CAN wait to have a girl....j/k. Miss you at the Shin-dig, Glad that hase and the boys made it tho. MIss you A! can you believe I forgot to give Cam his hoodie...still in my trunk!