So, a lot of random things have been floating around my head today. Chase is on a recruiting trip to BYU so there are no adults around for me to exercise the randomness in my brain. So it's all coming out on you. Buckle up.
Random thought #1:
Have you ever eaten something bad simply because you wanted to get it out of the house? Whenever we get too much candy or cookies in the house - something we don't normally have - my first thought is: "I hate having this stuff in the house so I'm just going to eat it ALL really fast so it's not here anymore." How does that make sense? Seriously. If someone left a bottle of wine at my house I wouldn't say, "Boy, I hate having this stuff in the house. I better drink it up." I would dump it out. If someone left a carton of Marlboros on my kitchen table I wouldn't think, "Gee. Smoking is awful and I hate that these cigarettes are laying here. Pass me the lighter." So why on earth would I do that with food? Strange.
***Remember this blog is full of the random thoughts that have been plaguing me. I didn't say they were REASONABLE thoughts. No one actually ever leaves wine or cigarettes at my house.
Random thought #2:
My life changed drastically on December 7, 2007. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was the day Sophie was born, but that's not why. No, my life changed that day because Abby Hobson brought White Chili to me in the hospital and forever changed the way I view all chili. Never again will I cook regular chili.
Random thought #3:
Why don't I clean my microwave more often? Seriously, I use it 40 times a day and it's never really that clean. I clean it maybe once a month. That's totally gross! What is wrong with me? The rest of my kitchen gets cleaned multiple times a day simply because I have to but I've been living with the goop on the the inside of my microwave for weeks. Yuck. The only thing I can say for myself is that at least you know the gunk in there is pretty clean since it gets zapped with microwaves 40 times a day.
Random thought #4:
I hate making mistakes. Mistakes suck. Seriously, it takes you about 30 seconds to make them and you spend the next who-knows-how-long trying to live it down. For instance, I accidentally say the word, "Crap" and then have to spend the next 4 weeks trying to remove it from my kids' vocabulary.
Random thought #5:
Why do I get so much junk mail? And why don't I ever throw it away? Why does it just accumulate in my entryway all week before Preston comes over and throws it on the ground (twice), thus prompting me to finally deal with it? And by dealing with it I mean just moving it to another location where it will sit for another 3 weeks before I finally "find time" to deal with it (note to self: Stop blogging and deal with junk mail). I hate junk mail. A lot.
Random thought #6:
Am I a bad mother because I get seriously grossed-out by my own children. Runny noses, diapers, food smeared on every square inch of exposed skin...it's gross, right?
Random thought #7:
Gross is a strange word. Really. Type it a bunch of times and you'll see what I'm talking about. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross. Doesn't even seem like it should be pronounced that way...
Random thought #8:
My SIL, Sara, got me a day-by-day calendar with quotes from The Office. I laugh at these every morning. Sometimes they're so good that I try to tell other people the quote, but I usually get it wrong or mess it up with a bad delivery and they don't laugh. I hate that. People, if I ever try to re-tell you an Office quote have the good sense to laugh at it. So here is my favorite quote (so get ready to laugh):
"I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy."
Random thought #9:
Do you ever watch the mop commercials and wonder why the floor is so dirty? I mean, I know they're trying to sell me a mop, but holy crap, what did they do to that floor? And why is the rest of the kitchen so clean? If you can keep your white counters and cabinets glistening what's so hard about the floor? MY floor is never even that dirty. My microwave, maybe...but my floor? That's just gross (see thought #7).
Don't worry. Sometimes I don't even understand my brain.