Rawlins Family

Rawlins Family

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Ode to Drugs


O, Drugs

How good you make me fill

When I am oh, so cranky

And sick and nasty,

fo rill.

You make my breathing passageways

so clear and so defined

I almost don't have a problem

getting cortisone in my behind.

You made my day much brighter

when once you met my system.

I wish I didn't have

to beg my doc to listen.

I thank you for your magic

may it never go away.

For you have made my world

on this dreary, pee-filled day.


I swear, I have spent a lot of the last four months whining. Whining about the boys' asthma, whining about my morning sickness, whining about Sophie's triple back-to-back pink eye, and her ear infections and her sinus infections, and Miles' pink eye. Oh yeah, and my non-stop infections.

But this is my proclamation to the world: I am reformed. I promise to stop whining so dang much. I know that this is the crap that life is made of. It happens because we live in this place we call mortality. And I can be healthy when I'm dead. I mean, when I'm dead and living in heaven and my body is perfected and...oh crap. You know what I mean.

It does make you realize, though, once you're feeling good, that feeling badly really DOES make you FEEL BADLY. It's hard to feel GOOD when you feel BADLY. You know what I mean? And please don't get me wrong, I have watched enough close family and friends suffer through actual, life-threatening illnesses in the past few years (mostly I have watched them, watch their children go through it - which is even more heartbreaking). I know that a couple asthma attacks and some colds are NOTHING. I know that. I don't forget it, even on my worse day. But I think I do forget to be grateful when I'm feeling really well. Or when I'm just feeling not crappy, even.

So. I am reformed. No more whining. Okay, I'll probably whine occasionally. I'm thinking, maybe starting in the end of June, early July? Is everyone okay with that? Because I'll be looking like Shamu's older sister by then, and I think whining is okay? Yes?

Anyway, I thought I should just throw some things out here that have made me feel SO GOOD lately. Because I am a blessed woman, in so many ways.

1. Good friends. I am surrounded by women both local and far, who astound me. They are compassionate, willing to give of their time and talents, and are selfless. They are funny. They are willing to forgive my long absence from play-groups, ladies night out and various and sundry things. They don't expect too much from me, and make me feel welcome and loved every time I see them. It's amazing to feel that. So, thanks, girls.

2. Miles is learning his alphabet. Oh Miles. I've had my eye on you. I have silently (and not so silently, at times) had some concerns as I've watched you grow and develop. You're smart, curious, SO loving, creative and fun. But you're different from Cameron and, in my naiveté, I'll admit I may have compared. You haven't noticed, but I did it anyway. I'm so grateful to see you learning and growing at your own speed and pace. You do learn differently, and I'm getting used to accommodating it. But that's why we're partners, you and I.

After trying all the same teaching methods that worked with Cameron, I finally gave in and tried a VIDEO called The Letter Factory  by LeapFrog. And Miles, who couldn't identify a single letter except "O" and occasionally "F" is now grabbing letter magnets off the fridge and bringing them to me saying their name AND sound!!! I can't tell you how I beam and praise. It's probably over the top. But he likes to hear how awesome he is. So, naturally, I oblige.

3. Sophia is potty training. And while I kinda hate potty training, it's amazing to see your kids picking up new skills and (sniff) growing up. She is SO PROUD of her princess panties! I love seeing her clap her hands and shout "Ooray mommy! I do it!" and give me a big hug. We do some dancing, some high-fives and shout out our excitement for her. It's become a whole family thing. Cameron and Miles and Daddy get right in there and tell her how great she is. So, Sophie is amazing. (and she may have turned a corner, but I'm not going to jinx it by talking about it...just cross your fingers and your eyes and your legs that she keeps doing so awesome!)

4. Drugs. Did I mention drugs? Even if I have spent (hold onto your hats) about a grand on drugs just since November. I'm grateful to live in a time and place where I can get the healthcare my family needs.

5. Chase. I. Love. That. Man. He just makes everything easier and better. And I think his company's audit is almost over so we'll get to see him again soon. And hey, while we're at it, I'm so glad Chase isn't doing public accounting! Holy schmoly the things we've gotten done on Saturdays this month...

6. The Gospel. This list is getting long. I know. Sorry. It's your fault for reading this far. But having an understanding of my place in this world, and in the world to come, is such a peaceful thing. I can't quite describe it, but it's a feeling of being almost untouchable. I know that I have to endure trials and challenges in this life. And some are going to be so hard that I will have to fight with every ounce to get through them. But they're temporary. And, in the grand scheme of things, they will be for my benefit and make me stronger. All we take with us is what we learn on this earth, and then we go on to a better place to live and serve with our Heavenly Father. How amazing is that?

7. Spandex.

8. Ice cream.

9. I'm just making this long enough to end on an even number. And spandex was an actual item on the list. And who can stop at 7? Or 8? That makes for a very weird list, in my book. You gotta hit at least double digits or you're clearly an ungrateful witch.

10. Cheese. Seriously. What doesn't taste better with Cheese on it?

11. Super hero costumes. Okay, I know I implied I'd be done with 10, but now I want to see how far down you'll read. How much do you REALLY love me? Huh? HUH?

12. My garden. Yes. You heard that right. I have an honest-to-goodness garden growing in my backyard. So far I've got peas, beets and carrots in the ground with much more to come. Summer will be a happy place with that home-grown goodness to chow on. Yummmmm.

Okay, I'm done. Fo rill.


Deb @ Confessions of an Ugly Mom said...

Does cortisone contain pseudoephinedrine? Don't lie to me, girl.

I love you all the way down to your garden.

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Pooh said...

For such a whiny sick person, you sure manage to be a very busy, grateful, potty-training, alphabet-teaching, super-hero-loving gardener.

I just manage to lie on the couch and sleep and ignore my kids and my house and everything else.

Just sayin'.

Sara K. said...

If you ever fall off the wagon, we're here to listen to you whine with or without cheese.

abby and paxton said...

awesome ode. You're so creative... :) And I almost didn't read your whole list because it was getting kinda long, then I thought- what else do I have to do today? So i read it all.

critts said...

sometimes there's just nothing as good as a cortisone shot in the rear. for real.

I swear by Leap Frog Letter Factory. Both kiddos learned their letters that way. See...tv really is good for kids. :)