[Fuzzy] Math

As it turns out weight loss is really all about math.

I need to just shut up and get on board with that.

I love when people do the work for me...

Do you love that I add ellipses to the end of so many blog titles? You should.

Over Christmas I went to Pennsylvania to visit my family. While I was there we were at my little sister's house. While there my kids discovered HER kids' stash of fabulous hats and sunglasses. I've seriously never seen a collection like that. It was great. My kids were in heaven.

So we did what every good parent does. We put them on our poor, defenseless baby.

I can't do it anymore justice than my sister did, and I really appreciate that she took the time to download pictures, then upload them to the blog because that means I didn't have to do it. So go here to check it out. You will not be sorry! Or maybe you will feel sorry for Haley that she got stuck with us for parents, but that's entirely beside the point.

Run, Don't Walk

If you haven't gotten a flu shot yet this year you need to stop reading right now, get in your car and go get a flu shot. Because I just lived through Flu Type A and it was horrid, terrible, awful, miserable and traumatic.

It started with mild cold symptoms that I didn't pay much attention to. My kids are always bringing home garbage from school and I usually pick up a couple bugs each season. Whatever. I'm over it.

So Thursday night I was really starting to feel excessively lousy and I told Chase I needed a baby free night to sleep off some of my sickness. So he camped out in the girls' room to be on Haley Duty.

Around 4:30 in the morning I realized I was getting sicker and by 6:30 when my alarm went off I realized I couldn't get out of bed. Like, literally could not move my body out of the bed under my own power. And I had a fever and really bad chills and every fiber of my body hurt.

So Chase, who has probably taken one sick day the entire time we've been married, was petitioned gently and then not-so-gently by his invalid wife to arrange to work from home.

Except guess who didn't bring home his laptop?

This was my response: "Just take the kids with you to the office and get it and come back."

(His office being 30 minutes away and our kids being, well, our kids.)

And this was his response: "Uh...okay."**

Bless his heart he made it work. He's in the middle of an audit; and filing taxes; and approaching month-end and he made it work. I love that man of mine. But really, there wasn't going to be another way because - again - I literally couldn't get out of bed. And there was the minor detail of not being allowed to be near Haley (my other kids/husband have all had their flu shots, but Hales it too little to have it and I just plain forgot mine).

So let's consider this one of my good deeds for the day. You've been warned! Go get that shot!!!

P.S. The upshot of the whole situation was that the kids really enjoyed their unexpected Day of Dad. And I really enjoyed that the house was clean when I came out of my fever-induced haze. If I wasn't so selfish I would share him. But I am. So you're going to have to go find/train your own Super Husband.

**Because I feel that my dad's head might explode with the prospect of me sending my kids to Chase's office, I want to clarify that he didn't end up taking all the kids to the office with him. It was decided that he would put snacks on the table and PBS on the TV and leave Miles and Sophie in my care. (And by "care" I mean my ability to dial 911 before slipping back into a restless sleep.) Haley did have to go to the office with him, but she is generally well received everywhere she goes.

I think I'm going to hit the couch

Man. My throat hurts a lot today and I've got a weird, barking cough. And because this is my life we're discussing here I also have no less than five major things on my schedule today not including pre-school/school/carpool and the regular feeding/care of my children.

So today's a really convenient day to feel craptastic.

But after the baby I was watching left this morning I realized I had a little bit of time before I needed to go anywhere. I have a choice to either hunker down on the couch and watch PBS with the kids or I can keep pushing myself and get the beds made and the laundry folded.

I don't know when this happened, but over the past couple of years I've slowly become a person who just can't sit still. If I know there's something out there waiting to be done (laundry, dishes, floors needing to be swept or vacuumed, children's rooms to be reassembled, etc., etc.) I just can't stop until it's done. And if I do sit down it's all I can think about!

As a result of this my house is generally pretty clean and tidy - something I've had to work at for awhile. But also as a result of this I'm pretty good at saying, "Just a second, honey. Let me finish [insert task here] first." And guess what? The tasks are never, ever ending. I have to wonder how many books, deep conversations or cuddle sessions I've missed out on in those moments. But really I don't want to think about it because it would make me sad.

So maybe my word or theme for this year is going to be BALANCE.

And these are the cats who are going to help me achieve it.

 

And look at this! I blinked and Cameron went from

THIS... (circa Jan. 2005)

TO THIS...

(and I'm not really sure how it happened)

So here's to 2011. The year of not missing out on the good stuff.

For reals this time

When I sat down to write my last post I started on a list of "Things To Do" for the next year and it all started to sound cliche and silly. That's why I ended up throwing in the towel and writing a ridiculous list. There are so many things I want to do in this life and I feel like time passes so quickly there's never enough time to get it all in! But there are things that are truly important that I really want to accomplish. The extra stuff is just that: extra. If it happens, great. But if it doesn't happen I know my life will have counted if I just get really good at accomplishing those things that truly matter.

1. Further develop my relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ through more diligent scripture study and prayer; meaningful and sincere service to others; and living a covenant, consecrated life.

2. Further develop my relationship with my husband. This one is pretty easy because I married someone who turned out to be my very best friend in the whole entire world. But hey, what marriage doesn't need a little work at times?

3. Become a great mother. Spend more time really listening to my children. Be better at getting on their level and seeing things from their perspective. PLAY more with them!

4. Serve my community. At the moment this mostly takes the form of PTA service. I would like to find other ways to branch out, though.

5. Get into a single digit size jeans. Okay, this probably sounds trite after all the deep stuff listed above. And to some it may be. But taking care of myself is something I need to get better at. It gets mighty hard to take care of everyone else if I haven't first made some time to fill my own vessel.

So there, you go. A real list of real things I hope to accomplish (or get better at, anyway) this year.

Also too I'd still like to perform with Blue Man Group.

Here's the the start of a new year

Tomorrow I turn 31. There's a lot I'd like to accomplish in the coming year. Stuff like...

Learn Chinese

Wear just one sequined glove

Eat steak every night for dinner

Become a vegetarian

Perform in the Blue Man Group

Learn to base jump

Train a rat to take over the cooking, open famous restaurant staffed entirely by rats, get rave reviews

Sit down at the piano at Nordstroms and just start playing

Attend a Radiohead concert, invite Thom Yorke to live with us (I think he'd say yes)

Learn the lyrics to all of those really hard to understand Pearl Jam songs

Craft new living room furniture using online tutorials, supplies from Hobby Lobby and vat of a Mod Podge

Wear the same outfit everyday for a month just to see if anyone is paying attention. Plus how nice would that be to not have to think about what you're going to wear for an entire month? SIGN. ME. UP.

Adopt a highway

Ride an elephant

Learn morse code

Write a successful series of young adult novels about sexy vampires who don't drink the blood of humans. Or write a successful series of young adult novels about a dead horse that was kicked over and over and over and over and over again

Knit myself a custom snuggie

Earn a spot in the Harlem Boys Choir

So yeah. It's a good thing I've got a whole year ahead of me.

Some funnies

Miles says awesome stuff. I think I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating.

On Thursday I told Miles we had to get in the car to go pick up Cameron from school. After thinking about it for a moment his eyes literally lit up and he said, "mommy, I know!" And then  went on to describe, in detail, how he wanted me to open the garage door and he would hang on so it pulled him up in the air. And then I would back out allowing him to drop onto the top of the car, and then while the vehicle was still moving he would climb through the door and THEN put on his seatbelt. Because, you know, safety first.

And speaking of, "you know" Miles likes to throw that into his explanations. I'll ask him what he wants for lunch and his response will be, "Um, a sandwich with meat and, you know, cheese." Why the "you know" is necessary I actually don't know. But it's awesome, so that's that.

Also too, Miles likes to watch a show called Kipper. It's about a dog and his friends. It happens to be a British show. So Miles has picked up the accent, which is rad. He doesn't ask to watch Kipper. He asks to watch Kippah.

Lastly, tonight after Miles' bath he asked me to use the "hot wind maker" on him. You know, the blow dyer.

Soothing bedtime routines

I am really going to buckle down and blog this week. I'm not going to attempt to catch up with stuff that I've been up to over the last two months of my blogging hiatus. That's too daunting. But I really have to get back into the groove of blogging! It's just a lot of work. But it's good, worthwhile work.

So to start us off, here's a little video of daddy's version of bedtime.

Soothing, yes?

I'll get a post up here one day

Until then, go check out our family photo shoot. Elder Garebear made it home safely from Chile despite it's best efforts to earthquake him to death. We are so grateful:)

To commemorate the event we took some pictures. J'adore the photographer, Amy. With 9 kids ages 7 and under (including three newborns), she was lightning fast and nothing our kids threw at her took her off her game. Totally recommend.

ANyway, see them HERE.

and yes, that is me still needing to lose the baby weight from MILES...pay it no mind...

and also too yes, that is Cameron carrying on the time-honored Kilgore tradition of blindness...he had just gotten his glasses the day before this and he is thrilled with them. I think he looks like a cuter, less British version of Harry Potter. :)

Bilingual

The other day as Sophia was in the bathroom she looked up and said, "Pee first and then poopy. That's English mommy."

Today while eating lunch she said, "Humongous. Hu-mon-gous. That's spanish mommy."

Just thought I'd share the awesomeness.

Versatile who?

So my SIL Deb has nominated me for a versatile blogger award, along with my other SILs and sisters and people who are basically my sisters, and people who I don't know, but would probably like based solely on the fact that Deb likes them. I trust her like that.

So yes, the award. I'm pretty sure it's a high honor - right up there with Grammies and Oscars and the like. So I'm going to take this very seriously.

The rules stipulate that recipients must list seven things about themselves. Let me say that I'm glad it didn't add the qualifier that they be seven things NO ONE KNOWS. Because if you read my blog you know that there's not a whole lot of holding back with me. I'm a sharer.

1. I graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in Media Communications (fancy talk for journalism). A whole degree! And yet I struggle with the proper usage of commas, hyphens and occasionally apostrophes. And sometimes I screw up my syntax. And sometimes I do this knowingly because I just like the "feel" of the sentence. Now, I'm pretty sure this might drive my big sister somewhat nuts. Annnnnnnd that may or may not be one reason I haven't bothered fixing it. Love you, sis.

2. I am a big fan of made-up words and word combos. Like if I wanted to tell you that I'm tired, but also busy, I might say that I'm bired. And I would kind of expect you to just understand. Because really? Is it that hard?

3. In my last post I said that my life was hectic but not dramatic. And that lasted for about 2 minutes. And then life looked me in the face, spit on me and laughed for a good 20 minutes before telling me that I looked fat in those jeans. Life has gotten a lot dramatic lately. So dramatic that, in response to a completely rational email detailing some commitments Chase had during the week, I responded with one of those lengthy, whiny, irrational emails that all husbands love to receive. Sometimes I also too send them to Sara. I think she loves them. And as I was type-venting I stopped and thought, "If I'm really that busy how do I make the time to have feelings about being so busy?" And then I realized I might be brazy (word combo alert!).

4. I am extremely well traveled. I've been to Iowa, like, 10 times.

5. I don't like swearing. It bothers me a lot. Mostly because I, like Deb, love words. There are so many fantastic words out there! I like finding places to put those words, and I l-o-v-e when those words fall out of my mouth while I'm talking without me having to think about it. They're just right there in my arsenal waiting for use. The other day I was doing the dishes and thinking of someone I know who likes to tell stories, but in my mind I said it, "likes to regale me with stories." And that made me smile.

6. Going right along with that, I love to read. I can remember my brother Sam making fun of me one summer - I was probably 10 - because I would wake up and stay in bed with a book. He thought I was lame. And while that part is true, it has nothing to do with reading. Reading is radical.

7. Double rainbows. I know what they mean.

And Deb has pretty much taken all of the people who I would have awarded the versatile blogger award to. Thanks for that, Debi B. But I still have a few great friends/bloggers up my sleeve. Unless they stopped reading my blog. I don't blame them. There's only so much pregnant whining a person can take.

So girls, consider yourself awarded!

A "Versatile Blogger" brings everything to the table - a little of this and a little of that."
Now, here are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award:

• Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award (Thank you, Debi B)
• Share 7 things about yourself
• Pass the award on to (up to) 15 other bloggers who you have recently discovered and think are fabulous
• Contact the bloggers you chose and let them know about the award.

Rena

Jessica

Jen

Meh

I just took Sophia to the potty and she managed to pee on the seat a little bit, at which point she tearfully said, "Oh no, I got pee on the potty. I didn't point my penis down!"

And that's when I realized I need to blog more often. Because what else do you do with that?

The problem with blogging, for me at least, is that I tend to think I need 'something to blog about." I've always leaned toward the side of the dramatic, and I really like to exaggerate. I do it about a bajillion times a day. So writing about the normal hum-drum of life doesn't always fuel my creative senses. And I don't like to blog unless I'm feeling creative-y.

Sigh.

So here I am. Mother of four with not very much drama going on. How is that even possible? Things are hectic for sure, but not dramatic.

Dear Grandma, send food. I'm starving over here.

In other news, The Haley has arrived (as pictured above and below) and it is FABULOUS. The mix of yellows, greens and blues is incredible. When Sara asked if I had any color preference for it I just told her I trusted her to make something beautiful. She delivered. Oh, did she deliver.

And speaking of deliveries, I have yet another niece!!!!! Jen had her baby on the 12th (Cameron's birthday!) and she is a juicy piece of baby. I still haven't figured out the physics of how such a big baby (9lbs. 4 oz.) fit inside such a tiny person. She honestly didn't even look that big at the end. But one way or the other, Courtney Lynne is here and we love her! So, for those of you who are counting, she is the THIRD Rawlins granddaughter born in the space of 8 weeks. Clearly we are a productive, hard-working group.

 

So yeah, that's about it. Not a whole lot going on aside from the usual, everyday biznass. But I thought my mom might appreciate knowing that I'm still alive.

That is all.

Go about your day.

Six weeks. Or day four. However you want to look at it.

Little Miss Haley is six weeks today! Since I'll be playing the role of Horrible Mother, I'll point out that at stage right you'll see the space where there should be a post titled "1 month!" That post should - but does not, since it is not in existence - contain a picture of Haley doing something adorable, perhaps while wearing a onesie with a big number one on it or something.

I wouldn't know. I didn't do anything like that.

Haley, here's the deal. You're not getting a baby book. I'll keep a journal for you because I'm good at that. But I was good at writing down detailed minutiae only once in my life and it happened between 2003-2006. Cameron will get to be the recipient of my Awesome Mother-ness. You, however, get me. Horrible Mother. So to fulfill this role I will go ahead and slap some pictures and stats up on the old blog and call 'er good. Deal?

Thanks for not being able to talk yet. Because I'm sure you'd be spewing epithets.

But really you should THANK me for sparing you the agony of seeing your empty baby book on the shelf next to Cameron's fat, binding-breaking, filled-to-the-brim baby book and Miles' acceptably full baby book. Sophia is already in thrice-weekly therapy sessions to deal with the heartbreak over having a baby book containing just her name, weight and length. I'm not sure I'd even get to that part with yours.

But I do love you. Great keebler elves, how I love you. You with your sweet smiles and chubby cheeks. You make being the mom of four a lot easier than I thought it would be. Though, let's be honest. Grandma Of Wonders just left on Tuesday so I'm still new at this. But so far, so good. The house is almost spotless, dinner has been on the table every night and the laundry isn't piling up anywhere. So in Newborn Years that's not four days, that's closer to four months. Can I get an amen also too?

 

   

 

Open Letter to Dad

Good morning, Pop. How are you feeling this fine day? You're looking rather well. Is that a new shirt? It sets off your tan nicely, I must say. Speaking of tans, have you been hitting the links? You look so well-rested.

How am I? Oh, just fantastic. Thank you for asking.

But let's get down to business. I have a proposition for you.

How about you let me keep mom. We can maybe arrange a custody situation wherein I get to keep her and you can visit her - here - as often as you like. Really, we wouldn't mind that at all!

See, I'm just not sure if I'm ready, or able, to give her up. I'm having a hard time picturing my days without a nap in them. And she's just so darn good with my kids, what with the loving and spoiling and all. I just don't know if I can bear to let her return to Pee-Yay. I'm sure you can understand this, as I know you're quite fond of her as well.

So what say you, Father? I really think once you've had a chance to mull it over you'll see my side of things and agree that, as usual, I'm right about this.

Love,

Your sixth (and favorite) child.

Baby heaven

  

To all those people who stared at me incredulously during my pregnancy.

IN YOUR FACE!

This is why I have babies. LOOK AT THAT GLORIOUSNESS! So much cheek kissing going on here at chez rawlins.

And...that's about ALL that's going on here. Because I still wear my pajamas every day. And I'm cool with that. Sometimes I wear makeup WITH my pajamas. But the uniform doesn't change much from day to day.

Haley is kind of an awesome sleeper. I mean, she's still a baby, so it's not like she's going six-hour stretches or anything. But compared to some of my other non-sleeping babies, she takes the sleeping cake. Of course, I expect that won't last long. Because my luck in that area never does. So I'm soaking it up now.

Haley is NOT an awesome nurser. Which bums me out completely. We've been through a lot in two weeks (cracks, bleeding, mastitis, thrush, visits with the lactation consultant, crying on the phone with said consultant, crying every few hours when she just won't nurse). And now she's a bottle baby and I'm pumping for her. I did this route with my other non-nurser, Cam, so it's familiar territory. Not FUN territory, but at least I know I've survived it once before. And hey, at least she's healthy and happy and adorable and perfect, right? I mean, that's a lot of good stuff right there. So no complaining.

People keep asking me what it's like to have four kids. And honestly they're asking the wrong person. They should ask my mom (who technically has 8 kids, 7 kid-in-laws and 17.75 grandchildren). Because she's running the show right now. C-sections are no fun to recover from and I've been doing my utmost to try and stay down and get better quickly. And my mom, bless her heart, is doing everything in her power to make sure I have nothing to do even if I wanted to. The sink is always empty, the laundry room is tidy and the kids are always cared for. And somewhere in there she finds time to read, like, a bajillion books. SUPER POWERS, I tell you! SUPER POWERS!

As for my older babes, they are handling this whole business swimmingly. Sure I have to remind them a lot to "Be gentle!" and "Don't run next to the swing!" But aside from that they are taking to the job very well. And grandma keeps them busy, which is nice. Yesterday they had a sweltering picnic at the park (100+ degrees!!!) and then we all went to the mall so they could ride the train with their little buddies Melanie and Preston.

And now my brain is tired. I think I paused a half dozen times writing that last paragraph. You guys are going to have to lower your expectations for the next couple of months (years, epochs). This whole mommy business makes my brain melt.

Because I'm a little bit tired...

This is what I sent out via email to my family. Remember that I'm on painkillers and forming coherent sentences is hard and stuff.

"Hey everyone! Sorry it's taken so long to get some pictures out. Chase's laptop doesn't have our camera software on it because it's a work laptop. Anyway, Haley Jayne Rawlins joined the world kicking and screaming at 1:52 on Friday. She weighed in at 8 lbs. 6 oz. A little bigger than Miles, but smaller than Soph. She was 19.5 inches.
The girl can wail. She also has a good sized head. You'd think that wouldn't matter for a c-section but it was low enough that they were practically wrestling me on the operating table to get her out. That was pleasant. But she got out and we're all happy and healthy. I came home a day early due to good behavior (on Haley's part, anyway) and probably because they were sick of me. Whatever works, right? Either way we're happy to be home and happy that Vikadon (sp?) and prescrip. strength motrin exist. Big round of applause for the inventors of those.
Here are some pictures of the Halestorm, Hales, HayJay (and sometimes I call her Sophie. I plan on putting a therapist on retainer for the future, no worries). She's gorgeous. We love every square inch of her and firmly believe she was worth all the pain and nausea of the last 9 months. The kids are also in love with her (violently so, at times). As we say in Primary, "we are a happy family."
Hope you and yours are all well. We love you all!"

That's Chase's mom giving Hales her first bath!

"How many bags of fluids does it take to make Anna look like that, anyway?"

The big kids spent their visits climbing every surface in the room. Sooooo relaxing for me:)

 

I do want to add that Mama K has been an angel! The kids are loving all the time with her and so am I. Thanks for lending her out, dad. I'll try to get her back to you in the same condition she arrived in. Also? The first thing I noticed when I sat down at the computer were the search results for the "Find a Grave" website. Awesome, mom.

90 and one half hours

So I was telling some friends last night that I've been trying to steer clear of my blog lately. I've been entirely too whiny and my summer gift to YOU has been to keep it to myself as much as possible.

You're welcome.

But now I have nothing to whine about. My mom gets here in t minus 24 hours. And that means life is wonderful. Good grief my mother is amazing. A saint, that one. And she's not even Catholic. But I'm pretty sure if the Catholics knew about her they'd fast-track her, like, yesterday.

What I'm saying is she deserves a Facebook fan page.

And guess what happens in 90 and a half hours? I have a baby. Now, the having part I'm not super excited about because it involves IV's (read: needles), scalpels, suction and sutures. All things I'm not a fan of, naturally. But I've accepted that this is part of how Heavenly Father made me: defective.

But I just go along with it because He has done lots of other stuff for me, too. So who am I to complain? I mean, if you don't count the last 8 months.

So, anyway, huzzah to impending fourth-time-around motherhood!

Oh What Do You Do in the Summer Time?

(Sung to the tune of Oh What do you do in the summer time?)

Oh what do you do in the summer time,

when you're big and wide and big?

Do you lay on your bed

and whine in your head

or silently curse a lot?

Is that what you do?

So do I!

 

Oh what do you do in the summer time,

when everyone else is thin.

Do you wear the same thing

but not your wedding ring

because you don't fit in it?

Is that what you do?

So do I!

 

Oh what do you do in the summer time,

when your pelvis is dislocated?

Do you waddle a lot

and sweat 'cause you're hot

and not cook for anyone?

Is that what you do?

So do I!

Shooting pigs

Having a six year-old is pretty much Heavenly Father's daily gift to ME. Everyone should, at some point in their lives, try to have a six year-old. Really. It's a worthwhile investment.

As we were driving down the road yesterday Cameron spotted a group of teenage boys walking down the sidewalk. He pointed them out to me and said, "MOM! Those boys are all by themselves without their moms!" I assured him that, since they were big, their moms were probably okay with them being by themselves. To this he responded that he couldn't wait until he was old enough to go places without me.

Insert knife. Twist.

Trying to play it off I said, "Oh yeah? Well, where do you want to go without me?"

Cam: "Somewhere so I can buy stuff."

Me: "Oh. What are you going to buy?"

Cam: "A bb gun."

Now, we had been at the pool earlier and I heard some bigger boys talking tough about their bb guns. So I just rolled my eyes at the gun reference/request.

Me: "Well, what would you do with a bb gun?"

Cam: (without missing a beat) "I would go into the forest and shoot a pig and bring it home to eat the meat."

Me: stunned silence

Me: now laughing uncontrollably

Me: So what you're saying is that you're going to bring home the bacon?

Cam: (in total seriousness). Yeah. And the pig.

 

ALLLLLLSO, during the same car trip Cameron tried to convince me that we should buy happy meals because "McDonalds does such a nice thing giving toys to kids. They're being so nice. We should buy them."

 

Anytime you want Cam to come over and say awesome stuff at your house just let me know. He's here every night.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Sooooooo, I saw Eclipse. I got a babysitter last week and went to a matinee where Kathleen and I sat in entirely uncomfortable seats trying to ignore our back pain, contractions and loss of lung capacity.

So, you know, we had a great time. And the movie proved to be a raging success when compared to it's predecessors. Bravo, David Slade. Bravo.

But since my brain is getting all mushy and jello-like, I will turn you over to Eric D. Snider for his review, and as per the usual, his Rejected Eclipse Screenplay.

Enjoy.

 

p.s. You should also read  his Twilight and New Moon screenplays. The man is a genius.