Because it's safe to say that most people are on vacation and won't be reading this anyway.

And therefore, I may whine.

WHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

35 weeks pregnant.

Ginormo baby.

Seriously. She's actually ginormo. Already. Well, she was 2 weeks ago and I'm pretty sure she's gotten bigger since then since that's what babies seem to do.

And now moving forward.

Wait, did I mention that I'm also really hot? Even in my newly insulated, radiant barriered home I'm feeling like I'm in a sauna.

I blame that on the baby, too.

Also, I blame the weird rash on my face on her.

Clearly the poor girl is going to be born with a lot of emotional baggage. But I'm sure I'll forgive her as soon as she's done dancing the cha-cha on my spleen every night.

Okay, really moving forward. Have I mentioned that Eclipse comes out this week? Have you noticed a measurable difference in my level of excitement about this movie versus the past two movies? I can assure you that I am no less excited. I really think this movie promises to be the best of the three. I've seen my fair share of clips and it looks quite good, to be honest. And I DID have a New Moon watching party last week in which like 20 of my girlfriends came over and none of us really watched the movie (except for the kissy-face parts...oddly we all became somewhat silent during those parts). But we did have fun eating junk food off of Edward and Jacob plates (thanks, Jen) and I'm pretty sure no one realized that I had a cooler full of water bottles, so people were probably thirsty the whole time. Which is appropriate because vampires are thirsty all the time, too. So maybe it was a sub-conscious effort on their part to really relate to the movie.

This time around I've decided to forego the midnight showing. Because after approximately 9 PM I am basically disabled. I could probably qualify for a special handicap tag for my car, except that when am I ever driving past 9 PM? Never. That's when.

So on Wednesday I'm getting a babysitter, going to my doc appt. (because I go to those a lot), and then I'm going to a matinee. I may or may not be all by myself. And I'm truly okay with it. Me, a diet coke, a tub of popcorn and a frigid movie theater is probably the most romantic thing I can think of right now. I'm practically drooling just thinking of it.

Word to your father

This is what Chase got for his Father's day. The kids decorated some cute frames to put their pictures in. Are my children insanely cute or is it just me?

We had a great father's day here. Chase is a great husband, great father and a great man, so he deserved it. He got some golf with his dad and brothers (twice!), and a quiet night with his amazing wife. Then on Sunday as we arrived home from church I was making lunch and getting to work on my (killer) coconut cream pie when he started doing this:

I immediately chastised him and tried to send him from the room to go take a nap or read. His response: "The only real gift I can give you is to do something for you when I know I absolutely don't have to."

AWWWWWWW yeah. That's a well trained husband. Stand back ladies, this one is T-A-K-E-N.

But seriously, that's just one reason I love the man. He's selfless. I did think it was kind of funny that this was the shirt he had put on...

Mormon Helping Hands. Sweet. Thanks for rocking my whole world, babe.

You know it's hot when...

The weatherman stops giving you the temperature in actual degrees and instead just lists in which circle of hell you are currently residing.

That man is sure good to me

Over the weekend Chase got me this:

Not bad, right? Is he the best or what?

And the REALLY good part?

Claires, $9.

Yes. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. My fingers have officially started to swell to the extent that wearing my real wedding rings makes me feel claustrophobic and panicky. This has happened before. Once I realize taking them on and off is starting to get difficult I go into crazy-lady mode. I immediately envision myself having to undergo some emergency medical procedure where FULL ACCESS to my hands is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. And, of course, they have to bring in some kind of metal cutting machine to take off my rings because they are locked in place. But the machine doesn't work. So amputation is the only option.

So clearly my fingers aren't the only things swelling. My brain appears to be doing the same. But try as I might the vision never goes away.

So around this time with each pregnancy I usually give in to The Crazy and get myself a "fake while I bake" ring. Because I'm not a fan of walking around with three kids, a giant belly and NO ring. Call me old fashioned. Call me crazy. You'll probably be right on both counts.

So there you have it. My new, fake rings. I think they're actually quite pretty.

And Chase taught Miles to shave this weekend as well. We figured we'd start early, because imagining him with a sharp blade at any point in his life gives me more panic attacks than tight-ring-induced crazy.

Just kidding. Miles just thought it looked fun.

So did Soph.

(LET'S HOPE SHE NEVER NEEDS TO DO THIS FOR REAL)

7 weeks and counting

Oooh boy, seven weeks to go. And what a long and quick seven weeks they will be, I'm sure.

Does anyone else think time is starting to get really tricky? I mean, I could SWEAR that yesterday Sophia was born. Now, here we are almost 2.5 years later and I'm about to do this again.

In just a measly seven weeks.

I'm scared, excited and heartburn-ey all at the same time.

I had a lovely little moment earlier today where I was sitting on the couch putting my feet up after a crazy morning of gym, errands, pool, house cleaning, etc. The Offspring usually takes these moments of solitude and practices for the World Cup. She was doing just that when I looked down and realized that I can't wait to meet her. Not just that I can't wait to get her OUT OF ME. I just can't wait to see her and count her toes and nibble her fingertips (and reassure myself that she is, in fact, a SHE). Who doesn't need a warm, wrinkly little baby curled up on their chest? I know that's what I need right now. Or in seven weeks, rather.

Miles has been cracking us up with all of his crazy, baby-related questions.

Heading out the door to the pool: "Mommy, is Haley wearing her swimsuit to the pool, too?"

Watching me eat something: "Mommy, does Haley want you to eat that? Does she think it's delicious?"

Standing in line at the child care at the gym: "Mommy, those mommies don't have babies in their tummies. That's why they're running. YOU can't run, mommy. Your belly is TOOOOOOOOOO big."

 

In other news, have I mentioned how grateful I am for air conditioning? Because I am. A lot. I'm the grateful-est.

Just below the ankle

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christy, this is a post about F**t. The dreaded F word. So you're going to want to skip this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is she gone?

Okay.

I don't actually have anything to say, except that Chase gave me a toe-paint job yesterday. I've been wanting a fun, summery pedicure. But I'm such a cheapskate. I have a VERY hard time convincing myself to pay for one. I actually never have. I've gotten them as birthday presents or when I got married.

So anyway, I knew I could still sort of reach my feet, so I was guaranteed at least some decent red toes. But I really wanted flowers. So I found a tutorial online, showed it to Chase and appointed him toe artist. And he came through, per the usual. I have yet to find something that guy can't do. He cooks, he can clean when motivated by my evil eye, he can whip out a spreadsheet and now he can paint rockin' flowers on my toes! How well rounded is that?

Observe:

 

 

 

Nice, eh?

As of late

I'm so glad to be done with major home projects for the time being. So glad. We've kept ourselves really, really busy lately. And while that's nice, and we've gotten a lot accomplished, I am plain worn out.

So here's what we've been up to.

Guest Bathroom:

I've painted this sucker three times now. The first time I painted it purple. Not sure what I was thinking. The second time I was trying to paint it a pebble color and it just ended up looking like a faded version of the purple. And, I realized that I needed to find something that actually matched our tile. We weren't sure if we were keeping our tile surround (I thought we weren't), but when we decided it was staying I knew I needed something neutral to match it. So I found a tan'ish yellow that seems to work.

In addition to the painting I scraped out the grout in the tile surround so Chase could re-grout. This has to be one of the worst home jobs ever on the planet. You have this little tool and you literally scrape away the grout. It's awful. But I did it and lived to tell the tale. And saved some bucks in the meantime. So it was worth it. Chase did a good job re-grouting, too. Now we just need to re-surface the tub.

Also in the bathroom I sanded and painted the cabinets and baseboards. And while they certainly look better, I'm not ready to say they look GREAT. I mean, they're 30 years old. Their days of looking great were over when The Brady Bunch went off air. But I can live with them.

We still need to put in a new counter, sink and mirror in there. But for the time being I'm happy to be at this point.

Master Bedroom:

New bedding, curtains, blinds, paint. I went with pale gray for the walls. I had the hardest time choosing a color because I didn't want something too dark/bright/overwhelming in there. And we have black furniture, so you can't just do anything. Anyway, after I found the bedding I was inspired by the sound of my sister's "Gentle Rain" paint in her bedroom. So I stole the idea and ran with it. I still need to get stuff up on the walls, but overall I'm very happy with the effect. So soothing.

Attic:

Chase has been a maniac in the attic. He put up radiant barrier, followed by insulation. The whole project took the entire spring (not the two Saturdays I thought), totaling over 70 hours. And that's including the 15 hour day he put in with my dad. The house has been SO much more comfortable this year than in previous years. Even considering the fact that I am a walking oven. Even if our cooling bill never goes down I could care less because it feels so much better! Definitely worth it.

Out-of-doors:

In April we put in a garden. I wish I could say that it's flourishing. But unfortunately the larger I get the less desire I have to go hang out in the garden. So it's fallen by the wayside. BUT the hardest part is done so I have full faith we'll be in full-on garden mode next year. Sorry little garden friend.

We also have attempted, yet again, to get grass to grow properly in our front yard. The previous owners were complete idiots. And I mean that in the stupidest, most moronic sense of the word. They just were. Everyone surrounding us who had grass planted at the same time (by the builders) and who has taken just the least care of it has a beautiful green lawn. Us? Not so much. Sigh. We're having to fight an uphill battle to get it to grow in some spots. Chase spent last week pruning the crap out of the tree in front, which should help let more light reach the grass below. Cross your fingers for us on this one...

Random:

We found a new kitchen table! Well, new to us, at least. We outgrew our old table, which made me sad. It was the first piece of furniture I ever bought at an actual furniture store and I loved that thing. But it was time. I found a Crate & Barrel table on craigslist for a steal and snatched it up. It's already "broken in" (it has some light scratches on top) so I don't feel like I can't let my kids sit there and do crafts like they normally do. But it's roomier, MUCH more sturdy, and a better color than the old girl. So that was a fun find.

Lastly, in the midst of all this craziness, we re-financed our home from a 30 to a 15 year mortgage. Chase just came home randomly and said we should do it and I just kinda went along with it. He's the CPA, after all. Anyway, now that he's shown me several spreadsheets (of his own design, of course, being the EXCEL JEDI that he is) and amortization schedules, I'm really glad we did it! It was kind of annoying to have the house inspected in the middle of all of our projects, but it was a good decision. Yay to Chase for being a rock star like that.

Terrible Twos

This is not a post about Sophie and her awesome 2 year-old-ness. That deserves it's own html. Come to think of it, her diva-liciousness deserves an entirely new internet. Get on it, Al Gore.

Anyway.

This is about the two things I want to do right now.

Hibernate.

Swim.

Is it so terrible that that is all I want to do? I just want to lock the doors, stay in my jammas and hang out. I don't necessarily want to sleep or rest. Not yet, anyway. I'd just like to not have to DO anything. I don't want to have to deal with actual PEOPLE. Excluding my kids/husband/family, of course. Them I like. And you know, it's not about not LIKING other people anyway. I LOVE people. People are fabulous. But getting dressed and leaving my house in order to talk to them is starting to feel somewhat overrated.

I don't know. Maybe it's my size (though, the doc informed me that despite my feelings of epic ginormity I'm measuring a little on the small side - not my BODY, just my womb...he didn't go into specifics about the size of my bottom parts, for which I thank him). Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's the 10 billion things that happen in the month of May when school is ending and you're a certified PTA member. Regardless of the reason, I'm ready for it to stop. I'd like to take a day off.

And on my day off I'd like to be floating in a pool of glacial water. Al Gore might be able to do something about that, too. And why am I making Al Gore jokes?

I love the pool so much that when I showed up at my SIL's pool yesterday without my swim skirt (which I never, ever go without in public because of the cool Casper/Albino/Cellulite combo I've got going for me), I didn't care. I just jumped right in. Minus the jumping part.

It's almost June. Still too early to complain, right?

I swear this all sounded normal when it was in my head.

 

Bonus Blog:

Miles has been saying the most rad stuff lately. Yesterday after a total meltdown/tantrum in the car, he stopped crying, sniffed and said, "Mom. I love squirrels." Later in the day, on the way home from the pool, he dialogued WITH HIMSELF a conversation between himself and a bad guy who was "trying to take away [his] mommy." He was sounding super tough, like he could totally take the bad guy, until he corrected the bad guy's poor manners. He was all,

"You stay away from my mommy, bad guy!"

"No! I'm going to take her and get her!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes I am and I think you're stupid!"

"Stupid is a bad word. It's not sparkly best manners to say stupid!"

(commence sounds of a struggle between bad guy and good guy)

It was kind of awesome.

Can we all agree?

For the love of all that is gooey, crunchy and chocolate covered (read: holy), can we all just agree on this one topic?

Pregnancy is TEN MONTHS, people. TEN. Not nine. TEN.

I've been on the earth for approximately 364 months. And not one of them had 35 days in it.

So pregnancy leans much closer to ten months. It just does.

And I'm CONVINCED that the whole 9 month gestation idea came from someone who is uterus-less. How else would he have gotten the Mrs. on the baby train? Not with a double digit pregnancy, that's how.

Men. Whether it's a fart* or a pregnancy. They're always trying to sneak one past us.

 

* Fart was an illegal word in my house while growing up...I still have a hard time saying it. I usually just don't. It brings back memories of me being hoisted over the sink and soap deposited in my mouth. Shiver.

Cameron, why are you so handsome?

Chase has been training Cameron to answer this question, "because I have good genes."

So no one should be surprised when, today after church, Chase said,

"Cameron, why are you so handsome?"

only to have Cameron respond,

"Because I'm wearing nice pants."

I love having kids. Happy Mother's Day to me:)

Mark your calendars...

Saw the doc today and we scheduled the c-section! July 30.

Woooooo hooooooo!!!!!!!!

 

Also too, Cameron made this card for me today, totally out of the blue. Being a mom is a dream job:) Why didn't any of my employers ever give me performance reviews like this?

(translation: I like my mom. She is cool. I love my mom. I like my mom because she loves me.) (And I'll admit I was kinda hoping one of those superheroes was supposed to be me. It wasn't. I should have known I'm not THAT cool.)

And just for an update, Mom and Dad came to town last week. I love having them here. They're both big helps with the kids and I usually find a job to keep my dad busy - he's never been one to sit around.

Anyway, we ended up finding a B-I-G job for dad to help with. If you didn't know, Chase spent a ton of time putting up radiant barrier in our attic. He finished the job right before dad rolled into town. The next step was to put in a couple attic fans and blow in insulation. So dad got wrangled into that. Poor, poor man. It was a HUGE job. They spent the first day doing the attic fans and getting ready for insulation. The next day they spent over 15 hours doing the insulation. 15 HOURS! Wowzers bowzers.

At least they got started with some sweet golf...

Now if I can just convince Dad to ever come back:)

Excited-er!

Okay THIS is a trailer. SUPER excited now! Oooooooh it's gonna be good!

24 weeks

Here I am at about 6 months preggers with baby #4. I wish you could see the detail on this shirt, because it's easily my fave.

Ignore the Evil Emperor Zurg on the counter.

Also ignore the muddy color of the walls. I've painted them TWICE trying to get the color right. First it was chewed grape bubblicious purple, now it's faded chewed grape bubblicious purple. Neither is flattering in that bathroom. I'm starting over next week...

Annnnnnnnd a side pic. Because it's necessary to show you why I get the weird double takes when I'm pushing the cart down the aisle. I go FORWARD when I'm pregnant. At least until about 8 months when my body just goes all-over-round.

You may notice that while my stomach goes FORWARD my bum gains equally in the BACKWARD department. I feel like a giant, walking letter S.

In case you were wondering...

...about Sophie's potty progress (because I know you were. Don't lie. You think about it all the time.), let me just say that when I picked her up from the gym daycare (YES, the GYM! I go so that I can watch The Price is Right. Not really, but I've never watched that show before and now find myself staring at it during workouts...so weird), she said, "Mommy! Potty!" And I said, "do you need to go potty, Soph?" And the daycare worker said, "No. She just went a couple minutes ago."

Yeah. That's right.

And now that I've put that in writing she will probably have no less than 36 accidents today, just to spite me.

Girls are a whole different ball of wax, I tell you.

Sugar crash

I miss my easter candy. I just do. I know it's good that it's gone. I know that it's good that our next "candy" holiday is months and months away. But I really love having an excuse to have seasonal candy in the house. I'm lame like that.

But chances are you are, too. Maybe a little? Yes?

Nothing good to post. After dismantling the kids' easter eggs and sorting the candy into piles (yes, still writing about candy), I told Chase to hide the candy from me. I've had too much and sugar makes babies BIG. At least this is what my friends who have endured gestational diabetes tell me. And I tend to believe them. So anywho, my babies are big all on their own. I don't need a baby inflated by sugar. So I told the man to take it. Take all of it! Far away!

He hid it in his closet. I know because I found it two days later with not much trying.

He also hid the Halloween candy there.

So when Chase got home yesterday and saw a suspicious looking wrapper sitting next to me he was right to question. But he didn't mention that he was MOVING the hidden candy!

But he did.

And I am sad.

The Easter bunny is my nemesis.

This is a package of my favorite Easter candy (excepting Cadbury Creme Eggs, naturally). I purchased it yesterday.

Have you noticed that it's empty?

Yeah, that's right. 30 hours later the bag is empty.

However, in my defense...

 

 

 

 

yeah. I got nothing.

That pack of Chicks and Rabbits was TASTY! Mmmmmmm hmmmmmm.

This is the new residence of those Chicks and Rabbits.

 

In other news, Miles had a little easter egg hunt at preschool this morning. I foolishly let him carry his 12 eggs into the house and I ran to check my email quick-like.

And this is what I returned to.

Post Egg Hunt Madness

And just for kicks, here's Sophia looking crazy adorable.

That is all. Go about your day.

7 minutes in heaven

My SIL, Kathleen, had told me this video existed and I totally forgot about it until tonight. Chase is out at a Mav's game and I had a little time on my hands, so I looked it up.

Annnnnnnnd, now I'm officially excited for Eclipse to come out. Considering that I will be 84 months pregnant when Eclipse premiers I just haven't been able to get too hyped up about it. I'm having a hard time imagining myself standing in line at midnight wearing my "Emmett Prefers Enormo Pregnant Chicks" customized t-shirt.

However, this video has changed all that. Well, maybe not the part about the t-shirt, but the part about me being un-excited. Because I'm seriously excited now.

Still not excited about BDH as Victoria, though, because not only did they make her ugly, they gave the girl a FRO.

It's epic.

I'll say this for Eclipse. If it's better than New Moon on the same scale that New Moon was better than Twilight, I'll be a happy customer. Eclipse is my fave book of the whole series. Please pretty please let them not mess this up.

And now, for your viewing pleasure...

I almost started to write a whiner post.

But then I didn't. Because, you see, I'm reformed. Remember?

Besides, a fourth-round of pink eye is not that big of a deal to a two year-old. Two year-olds are NOTORIOUS for loving eye drops. LOVING. THEM. Yesterday, as I was applying them, I heard Sophie murmur something along the lines of "this reminds me of a spa treatment." Lucky girl, that Sophie!

And a three-week course of antibiotics for the same two year-old who STILL has double ear infections and sinusitis is still not that bad. Throbbing ear drums are, in fact, considered very attractive in some cultures.

And your four year-old having an asthma attack? Seriously! Who would complain about that? Oral steroids just make him bigger and stronger and crazier!

So, you know, we're just living the high-life over here. Life is just it's normal shade of RADICAL and I know you wish you were here to enjoy it with us.

See how awesome I am at not complaining? I'm like the KING of not complaining. Woot!

 

 

Okay, but seriously. Life's good. I got to eat sushi over the weekend and that usually ups the general level of kick-a-ness here at Chez Chi-town. And General Conference is coming up this weekend. And I heart Conference. Only partly because that means I'm making gooey, delicious Sister Mecham's Seminary Caramel Rolls. And there ain't nothing wrong with that.

Because I'm totally going to the gym this week.

As soon as everyone starts breathing normally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I'm totally going to the gym next week.

No friggin' way!

This is Kristen Bell. She's gorgeous, right? Great skin, cute dress, nice hair, blah to the blah.

I want to talk about her knees, because this picture is like a revelation for me.

Hi. My name is Anna, and I have horrible knees. They're really round and shapeless and they kind of ooze right into the top of my calves. They're worse right now because I haven't been to the gym much lately (but remember how I ate a granola bar last night? That's gotta be helping.). They're better  when I'm a lunge-a-holic and a squat queen. But they're never like the shapely, lovely knees of my sister-with-legs-like-a-colt, Lylla. I'm not sure where she plucked her knees from on the family tree, but mine came straight from my ever-loving mom. And heaven bless her, those knees carried 8 children so why should I complain?

Well, icky knees are a hard thing to conquer. Most people have knees with some relative definition. As in, you can tell that the thigh has come to a stop and that the calf will come soon thereafter. I  have none of that. Just ooze. And I've always been ashamed of it - especially since the inside of my knees round out toward each other. Ugh. It's just a big mess.

But, Kristin Bell! Look at her! She's gorgeous and she HAS MY KNEES! And you know what? They don't look so terribly bad after all. Yes, yes, she's 20 sizes smaller than me and not retaining water. But it gives me much hope to think that someone with MY KNEES can go running around with them sticking out like that. Glory hallelujah, I just want to stare at them all night!

So for now I'm stuck with the water retaining, baby supporting, tree trunk versions. But maybe in the future you'll run into me somewhere sunning my knees and you won't even recognize me because you'll be all, "Wow! Those are some great gams!"

I ate a granola bar and a glass of milk last night...

...in lieu of nachos and ice cream, which is what I've eaten every night for the last five (at least) nights.

So, I think I can safely say that, even though I've only been to the gym twice since Christmas Eve, I'm about even now, right?

Right?

(crickets)

But seriously. I thought I was pretty awesome for that one.

And I'll totally go to the gym on Friday.

I think.